Transcript — "95% of Your Time With Your Parents May Already Be Spent" (Tim Ferriss)

First I'll say that lately life has been lifeing me. It's been doing all the things. We lost a dear colleague Om Malik. >> Oh man, very very sad. >> Very notorious like just amazing early tech just creative >> brilliant writer writer brilliant thinker very sweet guy. >> The nicest the nicest. >> And we've lost him within the last week. >> Yeah, yeah. He passed away so that was tough. That was really tough. I found out when I was at a a retreat. I went to a 5-day silent meditation retreat which is great but bummer to hear that. But I mean this is the thing that I realized the other day I was thinking about you know, Toaster and Om and other stuff I have going on and my mom getting older and following and all these things and in some sense it's unavoidable number one and number two I kind of wouldn't have it any other way. It's what makes life interesting. Like when Om passed >> You mean death? >> Well, just the everything the chaos of it all. >> Yeah. >> If you can just take a step back and be

[00:01:01] like, well, or I could just be sitting there living a really boring life and nothing could be happening. Like when Om passed what I felt was a severe sense of loss and sorrow and sadness but I realized that that gap is just love at the end of the day because I wouldn't have it unless I loved this man so much. Like I I cared for this person so much. How lucky am I to have crossed paths with this person? >> you were and you were tied in through True Ventures obviously and prior to that. >> Yeah, but like anyone in general that you lose that you love, you know? I mean when I lost my dad like that is just a gaping hole of love manifested through sorrow and sadness. >> Yeah. >> And once you realize that it's like, wow, I had this great father that did all these amazing things with me. And you can kind of convert that or just be okay with it. Not that you need to change that feeling. >> Recognize that it's a consequence of the love you have. >> of the love, the deep love. >> Yeah, you know, I heard about his

[00:02:01] passing and I want to give credit where credit is due for a few things. Matt Mullenweg, >> Oh my >> mutual friend, he was incredibly close to Om. And I'm really grateful to Matt for a few things. One, I mean many things. I could give a long list, but there are a few. One is he organized a trip to Antarctica. I've never been to Antarctica or hadn't and on that trip were just a handful of people including Om. So I got to spend quality time and trust me, when you're in Antarctica >> Yeah. >> you are indoors most of the time. What that means is you're either trying to sleep in your tent, but it's going to be during the summer, so it's like a spotlight in your face 24 hours a day or you're in one of these other structures where you probably like having wine and junk food, let's be honest. And there's a lot of talking. So we got to hang out and Om was also an avid photographer. >> Mhm. >> And so we got to like go to this nearby emperor penguin colony, which was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And you just sit and talk. And

[00:03:02] if there were going to be any small talk, which there wasn't going to be with Om or me really for that matter, it all falls away after the first half a day. >> Right. >> And then everybody's kind of like psychologically naked, right? So I really want to thank Matt for that opportunity to bond with Om. And I'd spent a lot of time with him, but it was always in these little bits and pieces. >> Yeah. >> You know, not for several days straight where you're basically like locked in together. >> And separately Matt introduced me to this short blog post by someone who typically writes very long blog posts, Tim Urban, called The Tail End. I don't know if I ever sent this to you. >> Yeah, people should know by Wait But Why? Wait But Why? Yeah, fantastic blog. >> And The Tail End makes the point among many others that by the time you, I think it's graduate from high school. Let's assume you're headed off to college away from your parents. You've spent something like 90, 95% of the total hours you will ever spend

[00:04:01] with your parents by the time you graduate from high school. >> Mhm. >> And when you start to visualize that, and Tim Urban's really good at laying it out visually, it can provoke some really profound changes for me. I mean, just reading that short blog post sent to me by Matt ended up leading to taking my family on these family trips as like awkward and uncomfortable that was at points cuz my family doesn't really emote much. >> Mhm. >> And so you stick us together in the way that I was together with them and it's it can be super uncomfortable. But making the effort, right? At least feeling like, look, this runway is not infinite. >> Yeah. >> And it's like, let me just make the effort. And I'm glad I did because we got to a point where it's like with my dad's mobility is really compromised and needs wheelchair now for a lot. >> I just saw him a few days ago and it was great to see him, dude. >> Yeah. >> It was so great to see him. He's so kind. >> Yeah. >> He's like, "Kevin!" Like so happy. And you know, he has a little cane and he was just like so sweet to see him, man.

[00:05:00] I hadn't seen him for like years. >> Long time. >> It'd been like 7 years or something like that. >> like that. >> And I'm glad I took those trips because before you know it, you can't do it anymore. And it makes me think of you mentioned meditation, this really good short, I'll call it a meditation for simplicity, but >> [snorts] >> it's like an audio book chapter by Sam Harris called The Last Time. I think it's called The Last Time. And he reflects on these various experiences that at the time you don't recognize are the last time for something. >> Mhm. >> Right? So he he went skiing, he went skiing, he went skiing and there was a time when he stopped, but he didn't realize that was going to be the last time. Right. >> And you just [] don't know. >> Do you ever try and like I think about this, dude, and then I try and do it one more time. >> Yeah, that's right. That's how I always end up injured. >> Dude, so >> [laughter] >> I went to the bouncy house with my kids and like I'm 49, you know, and I was like, I'm going to [] do a flip right now. And like literally people were like, don't do it. Don't like like

[00:06:01] calm me off, you know, and I did it and I stuck it and it felt good. I think it'd be my last time.